Friday, May 30, 2014

Week #2

Week #2 is complete!  I feel like I was just writing my post last week, time kinda just flies by.  It's been a great week full of new experiences.  Some things I've done this week:

-I went to the market on Saturday with Terri, Val, and Carrie.  It is CRAZY packed and busy, and we went at like 10 in the morning.  There were people selling all sorts of produce, cleaning supplies, cooking supplies, etc.  I was even called "blanco" by an older lady trying to get my attention.  With the help of Terri, I was able to buy my first purchase using gourdes, a pineapple :)
-I was able to wear my hair down for an hour during church, one of my greater accomplishments :) It went up straight afterwards.
-Jenna and I went with the Willis family to celebrate Jadyn's birthday at a pool.  It was on top of a hill and had an absolutely gorgeous view of the city below and the ocean.  This family is the sweetest, caring, and patient family you will ever meet.  I managed to come out of the day with only minor sunburns!
-I attempted a conversation in creole with one of the ladies that does the laundry here.  I guessed a lot about what she was saying, and I didn't say very much, but I was happy about it!
-I've learned from a volunteer here that 18-23 year olds' frontal lobes are not fully developed, so common sense may not be fully there! :p
-I put my handprint on the COTP wall, kind of a big deal. :)
-Jadyn and I, one of the girls I am homeschooling, baked for over two hours instead of doing school for her thirteenth birthday, and it was the BEST.  We made cookies with oreos in the middle, and brownies with oreos, chocolate chips, and marshmallows in them.  We're kind of pros.  She's the coolest 13-year-old you'll ever meet.
-We celebrated Jadyn's birthday with a girls' game night that consisted of spoons, KEMP, and signs.  I don't think I've laughed as much as I did this night while I've been here.  There's such a solid group of women here and they all are awesome.
-Homeschooling with the international kids has been going really well, with both groups of kids.  They seem to enjoy it, and I really like it too!  It's fun to teach in a more relaxed environment.
-I skyped my sister and nephews!  They're pretty cute.  When we got off Skype, Caleb told my sister, "I really miss Chelle." They look so big compared to the kids I see here.

I don't feel like I have super deep thoughts while I'm here, which I guess is good and bad.  Something that I guess I've been struggling with a bit this week is how God is a God of love, yet these kids here have been orphaned, abandoned, starved, and abused.  Some of these kids have already seen or experienced more than most of us ever will, and I struggle with that.  If God is a God of love, then why do these kids have to go through this?  Yet, I see love multiple times every day while I'm here.  I see how the nannies love these kids, taking care of them for hours on end.  I see love in the endurance the volunteers have amidst many trials.  I see love in the little boy's face when he puts his arms up every time he sees you and you pick him up.  I see love in the joy that these kids have.  I see love in the laughter when we're playing duck, duck, goose in preschool.  I see love in the two-month-old, under seven pound, baby girl I'm holding right now as she sleeps in my arms.  Gods loves me, just like He loves all the kids here.  Sometimes I think I get blinded by the bad in the world and don't see all the places God is working here.

Another thing that I've thought about this week is forgiveness.  God forgives us and shows us grace continually.  Sometimes, I just can't grasp my mind around that.  How does He do that?  I know that for myself, sometimes I can't quite get myself to forgive, and hold grudges, which can turn to resentment.  One moment in particular this week was definitely a test of patience/forgiveness.  During preschool, I had a little girl in time out, and I was talking to her, her hand slipped out of my grip, and she smacked me across the face and laughed.  At the time, I had her apologize, and then gave her a hug and let her continue playing.  Afterward, I realized that I was actually really mad about it.  This girl has enjoyed pushing my buttons consistently.  Forgiveness is hard.  I realized, we smack God across the face continually, yet He forgives us.  He loves us so much He welcomes us with opening arms right away.  I don't really understand it, but He does.  So, I went in the next day and tried love her just as I would any kid.  It wasn't easy.  But, God does it, and it can't be easy for Him either, the way I see it.  God is pretty dang awesome.

Friday, May 23, 2014

Press On

It's officially been a week since I've arrived in Haiti!! Oh man, that's a crazy thought. It doesn't seem like I've already been here that long, yet I also feel like it seems so long ago that I got off that plane in Cap Haitien.  Let's see what I can tell you guys.

Traveling by myself wasn't too bad. I really didn't feel ready to leave family behind, so there was definitely some tough goodbyes.  I made it to all my flights on time. On my flight from Atlanta to Ft. Lauderdale I sat next  to an incredible woman. As we were about to take off, I saw that she was reading a Jesus Calling devotional, so I was like hey, this could be pretty cool.  She asked me where I was going and I told her about my trip.  I mentioned how I was just excited to see what God showed me while I spent time in Haiti, and that began our conversation. She was originally from Jamaica but lived in Ft. Lauderdale now. She began to  reassure me how God always has a plan, and that he makes everything beautiful in His time.  She asked me how I came to know Christ, and then shared her amazing testimony. Something that she told me that has stuck with me is when she was going through a hard time in her life, she heard the Holy Spirit whisper to her, "press on."  So cool!  It was so encouraging to hear where she came from and how reliant on Christ she was. She ended up praying for me on the flight! It was such a reassuring thing because I truly felt not ready and didn't really wanna go.  When we landed in Ft. Lauderdale, I called the shuttle and waited. I ended up taking the wrong shuttle to the wrong hotel. :p So I went back to the airport and got on the right shuttle, and got to my hotel around 8. It was raining, and unfortunately it was an outdoor pool, so I didn't get to swim. I stayed up almost all night and got like an hour of sleep because I was so nervous and really felt inadequate. I was reassured by people on the phone or through text, so that was definitely a blessing and I am thankful for you all!! :)

Waking up at 3 to be at the airport by 4 was a bit rough, to say the least.  I met a man at the airport who had started a school in Haiti and was also sponsoring  almost 20 teenagers. It was really cool to hear his stories and to see how passionate he was for the people here. We had to walk outside to get in the plane, which I thought was strange. I slept most of the plane ride over. When they told us we were almost here, I looked out the window and saw so many beautiful mountains. It was so weird to not see a bunch of roads and buildings. When I got off the plane, you had to walk outside to the airport building. I could see a bunch of people looking at us from the fence, and I was a little nervous I wasn't going to be able to find the guy picking me up. The guy I met at the airport helped me get through customs, which consisted of them stamping my passport and kind of looking in one of my bags.  When I walked outside, I can't really describe my feeling, I just knew I had to find who was picking me up and say "No mesi" to people trying to help with my bags. Luckily, Jenna and Toto came to pick me up, and I recognized her so it wasn't too difficult.  The car ride to COTP wasn't too bad, I just looked outside a lot.  The roads aren't the best here, and there's a lot of chaos on the roads.

I'm living with Jenna in an apartment/ house sort of deal, and it's pretty nice.  She's pretty awesome and chill, so it's really not awkward at all which is a definite plus!  There are a ton of daddy long legs, which I've grown to  ignore, or try to. She has a cat, Ella, who is pregnant and just so cute!  She sometimes cuddles with you, and kills lizards in my room.  The shower here is cold, which has been a struggle and I find myself arching my back as much as possible to avoid getting hit with the water.  Hopefully I'll get used to it!  I've gotten bitten by like a hundred mosquitoes, but that's probably never going to end.

Let's see, my typical day consists of me waking up to the sounds of cows, the lawn workers, and the school children next door.  I get ready and then prepare for preschool from 10-12. Preschool is definitely an adventure!  I have 5 children, four Haitian children and 1 international student.  There's definitely a language barrier that is super frustrating, although it is taught in English.  This is definitely the hardest part of my day. I feel like I'm  constantly redirecting behavior or telling a child to "sheta"(sit).  We do activities, circle time, reading time, water break, crafts, and some sort of activity or game to end the day.  Planning sometimes can be a challenge because  I never know what they are going to spend 2 minutes on, or if it will take like a half hour.  It's different every day, and there's a lot of times where you just have to laugh. Val helps me, and I'm so thankful she's with me, or I might not make it though the days haha. Then I eat lunch, which is prepared  for me, and switches from Haitian to American food every day.  Then I do homeschooling for a couple hours, two days with two older kids from one of the house parents, and two days with younger kids.  I do geography and creative writing with the older kids, and reading with the younger. I really enjoy this time, and the kids are so great!  Then I eat dinner and hang out.  They have worship nights on Wednesdays. I've hung out with another volunteer nurse, Carrie, quite a bit, who arrived about the same time and it's nice to share the experience of not really knowing what's going on.  Sometimes Jenna and I watch the Amazing Race in our apartment or chat; we've got through a whole season already, and I'm getting hooked :).   I don't really feel like I have culture shock, you just know things are different here.  I feel like if people ask me specific questions I'll be a whole lot better at this, because I don't really know what else to say!  Hahaha.  I already can't imagine going back, I think a lot of things will seem different to me.  I can't think back to whats happened, but you can definitely ask me questions!  I can get online on my phone, so I can email or Facebook, although I try not to get on Facebook a ton. Something that happened today that's been on my mind a lot is that a baby passed away.  I never met her, she was brought to the hospital the day I came(I think) because she was so little and malnourished.  Yesterday we were told she probably wasn't going to make it through the day, and she passed away in her sleep.  It makes me sad to think this is real life for so many people here. We still have very small babies here, and right now they're gaining weight every day, which is a huge blessing!

So some things I've learned/random stuff
1. Haitian families are very different, like it could be anyone that cares for the child, like the grandmother, cousin, uncle, older sibling, etc.
2. Marriages are rare, and they often have children with numerous people; it's cultural.
3. Chaval is horse in creole :) The preschool kids LOVE horses.
4. Haitian food is pretty good!  There's rice, beans, chicken, plantains, Haitian meatballs, etc.
5. There's over 200 kinds of mangoes in Haiti, and some of them are really stringy.
6. I don't know how, but when we make brownies here, they taste so much better, but I think it's just because it's rare.
7. The nannies are always so happy and cheerful!
8. The voodoo doctor here is also the lawyer, which means he has a lot of power in Lagossette.

I can't think of

Thursday, May 1, 2014

2 weeks.

Well, it's becoming real.

And I'm scared.

For those of you that know me, I tend to avoid thinking about "big" things, and I think going to Haiti would fit this description.  When people ask me how I feel about Haiti, I always say that I'm excited.  I am excited, very excited, but I'm also scared, as much as I don't want to admit.  The journey so far has been a lot of ups and downs, battling being comfortable with the unknowns that I will be facing, waiting for conformation, and knowing what I will be doing.  I'm learning more and more what it means to rely on Christ completely.  Today I had my first minor freak-out, tear-filled breakdown, so I thought it would be a great time to start this blog dealio.  I have no clue how to blog, so it'll probably be me rambling and my thoughts that don't make sense.  Words are hard.

Up till this point, I've been like, yeah, I'm going to Haiti, woo, but I haven't really thought about the fact that I will seriously be in Haiti for seven weeks.  I haven't been out of the country before.  I haven't been away from home for seven weeks.  I haven't flown internationally before, and even more, flying alone.  I won't know anyone at the orphanage.  I haven't taught preschool before.  I don't speak creole.  Pretty much, I don't know what the heck I'm doing right now.  I'm beginning to be filled with nervousness, worry, self-doubt, and inadequacy.

I know Christ is there.  He is here.  I know He is constantly preparing me for the journey I'll be on.  God will provide me with everything I need.  I am trying to find rest in His promises--He will be walking right by my side.  God's plan is far greater than mine, which He definitely demonstrated to me this past year when He completely changed literally all of mine.  He has placed so many important people in my life to help me.  I cannot begin to thank everyone who was with me when I was deciding to go on an SOS, where to go, waiting for confirmation, and prepping for the journey.

A Bible verse someone sent to me recently has been comforting words I'm constantly turning to. "Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way.  The Lord be with you."  2 Thessalonians 3:16.  I don't need to have worries.  I need to turn to Him for peace of mind and heart.  I don't have to be scared about all the unknowns I'm going to soon be facing.  I don't need to be afraid of the spiritual warfare that is constantly happening in Haiti.  I have such a powerful God who will protect me.  I need to find peace knowing I have Jesus in my heart.

All worries put aside, I'm so excited for my time working with Children of the Promise.  If you want to know more about them, check it out here!  I am so excited to be teaching preschoolers five days a week, watching them grow and learn.  I can't wait to spend time loving on the children that are there, sharing the love of Christ.  I am excited to build relationships with those working at COTP and seeing how they see Christ in their work.  I am excited to build my relationship with Christ and getting into His Word.

Well, two weeks. Here we go.